Foolproof Ways to Get Fat, Happy

by Christine Liu - Citysearch Editor - 61 Reviews - 100 Lists

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Updated: October 14, 2009

Live long and prosper? Yeah, right ... Deep-fry me up, Scotty! Over-fattening foods are a surefire formula to win (and stop) our hearts. Take something of questionable health and push it over the frialator's edge. Such is the logic behind these belly-busting Boston "snacks," for better lack of a term, which stridently gild the junk food lily. Batter up.

(Photo: Lower Depths by Pam Aghababian)

The Fried and True

  1. 1 3.5 Star Rating: Average The Lower Depths
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    476 Commonwealth Ave, Boston, MA 02115 (map)

    DEEP-FRIED HOT DOG: We know there are all sorts of mysteriously tasty bits packed into the heart of every hot dog. However, at least we have clarity on what's happening on the outside of the Tokyo Dog at this subterranean Fenway outpost: crispy, deep-fried goodness. Also known as the Dice-K Dog, the unadorned frankfurter takes a feisty dive into a panko batter and emerges, not the least bit self-consciously, as the crunchy poster child of food-on-a-stick.

  2. 2 3.5 Star Rating: Average Boston Beer Works
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    61 Brookline Ave, Boston, MA 02215 (map)

    DEEP-FRIED PICKLES: We thought we drew the line of decency at fried mozzarella sticks (fat on glorious fat), but fried pickles takes a turn for fat on glorious salt. This staple Fenway bar doles up a plateful of brine-tastic Kosher dills that are battered and deep-fried into golden brown-sheathed spears, audaciously served with a side of artery-loving ranch dipping sauce if you dare. A fried pickle is basically the hotter, tanner, oilier version of the original--and we're OK with that.

  3. 3 3.5 Star Rating: Average J J Foleys Cafe
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    117 E Berkeley St, Boston, MA 02118 (map)

    DEEP-FRIED MAC 'N' CHEESE: Golf ball-sized orbs of battered-and-fried wads of mac and cheese? Yeah, you heard right--this is where comfort food cranks up to 11. These unabashedly high-carb, high-cheese, high-butter bits are deep-fried and served appetizer style, but if you're going for the gold, who needs sharing? In any case, they go perfectly with the old-school (truly old, since 1909) Irish pub environs, a dark haven for perfectly poured Guinness, curry fries and a shepherd's pie so rich Donald Trump called for a rematch.

  4. 4 4 Star Rating: Recommended Kickass Cupcakes
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    378 Highland Ave, Somerville, MA 02144 (map)

    DEEP-FRIED CUPCAKES: There's kickass, and then there's Kick. Assss. The latter totally applies to this uber-treat, a deep-fried cupcake, which manages to take the best parts of cake, frosting and doughnut and smoosh it into a roughly palm-sized approximation of dessert. Available only from Friday to Sunday at this Davis Square bakery, the cream-stuffed vanilla cupcakes are battered, fried to order and--wait, there's more--drizzled with chocolate syrup. Diabolical.

  5. 5 4 Star Rating: Recommended Redbones
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    55 Chester St, Somerville, MA 02144 (map)

    DEEP-FRIED HUSHPUPPIES: Whoever's bright idea it was to take orbs of eggy cornmeal batter and deep-fry the suckers, our palates thank you kindly. Hushpuppies are a Southern staple, and we're pleased as pie that they are attainable up in Yankee territory. Head to this Somerville barbecue joint for a hearty doling of the yellow nuggets, studded with scallions and garlic, and destined for dunkage into the accompanying vinegar sauce. They may be oh-so-cute, but we're confident that won't stop you from showing them who's boss.